Sunday, September 19, 2010

Startin fresh!

Today we had a special stake conference with a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elder Quentin L. Cook. It was pretty darn amazing! The topics were wonderful, and I really got a lot out of it. It really made me realize how our time here is so short, and how we cant afford to just sit back and be lazy and not fill our time with worthwhile things. After conference today, I just wanted to go out and love others. We talked a lot about having bowels that are filled with compassion. Our stake president made sure to excuse himself in front of Elder Cook for talking about bowels in stake conference :p hehehehehe. Pres. Smith actually defined the definition of the "bowels" which they refer to in the scriptures. And he described it as emotion that derives from the very essence of you. Emotions that arise from the depths of your soul. So having bowels that are filled with compassion and charity, means loving others from the depths of your soul, and loving them from the very essence of who you are. We are commanded to show this love to all of our neighbors. Not just those who share fence lines with us, but everyone who we come in contact with.
I realize more and more every day that taking the time to love others, and to have charity, is what ultimately makes me the happiest. There is nothing else that can replace that feeling in my heart when I take the time to care. So I guess if you're reading this right now, and have taken the time to read this far, that I ask you this. Please take more time to love others, and to genuinely show that you care. I know I have been blessed for it. And I know you can be too, and find the happiness that I find. I will leave you with the wise words of Henry Ward Beecher~

"Of all the earthly music, that which reaches farthest into Heaven is the beating of a truly loving heart." :)

Sunday, August 29, 2010

This is the time of my life

It is so incredible how fast life can pass you by. It reminds me every single day that I cant afford to take one second for granted. I look back over the years and realize the relationships that may have slowly slipped away. And how I wish they could come back to the time that they were in their prime. But sometimes those relationships are only intended for a season. Yet, those times can have more powerful influences on our heart and soul than we ever knew possible.

It is incredible what starting college can do to a person. I have only been in the official college world for about a week, and I am already seeing a transformation, once again, in who I am. And who I am becoming. Junior high and highschool were all about cliques. As you went on, everyone knew every body. But college is so much different than that. When everyone walks in on the first day of shcool, every one is brand new. No one is quite sure what to expect. And everyone is searching for the opportunity to find a new friend. To feel loved, and accepted.

There was one time this past week, where I decided it was finally time to introduce myself to a young lady who is in almost all of my music classes. I thought I was doing a small, and simple task, that didnt mean much. Later that class period we took time to publicly thank others who had touched our lives for the better. That very same girl chose me. She thanked me for the simple task of introducing myself, and making her acquaintance, and was overly thankful for that. It made me realize how much we all truly have to give. And that we can make a difference.

I have already met so many incredible people this past week at school, and I am seriously so thrilled to continue in the path that I have already created. Choir is so amazing, and I love making music with others who I know share the same passions as I do. I cannot wait to start vocal jazz tomorrow and come back to a place where I feel at home. Singing jazz makes me feel at home. The home that was such a major part of me the past two years at Mesa high. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my Jazz (hehe). But most of all, I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior. I'm so thankful for every day, and for every breath I take. Because life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Keep Holding on, there are angels all around us

I know that there have been times when people say "there are angels all around you." I believe that full heartedly. I will never forget the conference talk by Jeffrey R. Holland which spoke of the tongue of Angels. And the impact that they have in our every day lives. He spoke of angels who are unseen, yet leave us feeling their presence. He also mentioned that there are angels all around us who are in plain sight. But sometimes we dont take the time to acknowledge that they associate with us, or are right under our noses.

I have true angels in my life. Both seen and unseen. There are times when I am offered protection, or have a quick prompting to do something, or suddenly feel comforted when there is no one around, and I know that it is the unseen angels. I know that Heavenly Father has angels that attend us and comfort and help us, as we live our lives. We are His children, and He loves us, and wants us to feel as much comfort and love as humanly possible. I have angels in my life, who are seen. They surround me, and remind me why I am here. Why life is so important. They are there to teach me, and to understand the things that I cant handle alone. I know that I have been blessed with angels all around me, to help me in the moments when I feel alone. They are truly gifts from my Heavenly Father, and mean so much more to me than anything the world has to offer.

I love my angels without wings, and I do not know what I would do without them. You make every day of my life beautiful, and worth breathing, and I see His image reflected in your eyes. I love you my angels.

Monday, August 2, 2010

In learning you will teaching you will learn.

So I was recently called to be a beehive advisor in my ward. I was so nervous when I was first extended the call, but I willingly accepted. My initial thoughts were, how on earth am I supposed to teach these girls?? I'm barely a girl myself! Well, today the spirit testified to me, just how I am supposed to teach. I am supposed to teach by truth. By testimony. By simply what I know in my heart to be true. Today I bore my testimony in Young womens to all the girls and I told them this, "I accepted this calling, because I know that everything you learn in young womens is absolutely true. If I did not have that 100% knowledge, then I would not have accepted the calling.That is why I am here. To testify of the truthfulness of these teachings to you."

I know I was called to testify to those girls, because I was just barely one of them. I know that they can relate to me, and that it is such a blessing that I have the opportunity to teach. I know that my Heavenly Father has helped prepare me over the years, for this calling. I know that no matter how bizarre it is that an 18 year old who graduated 2 months ago,got called to be a young womens leader, that I can find strength and courage. Because I know that Heavenly Father will not call me to do anything that I cannot handle. He knows my strength, so much better than I do. And He has sent His son to live and die for me, and to bring about an atonement that can help me progress towards the kind of person that I have always wanted to be.

I know that this gospel is true. I know it with all of my heart. I am so excited to testify of its truthfulness to those beehive girls. I am so excited that in teaching, that I am going to learn so much more. I cannot wait for the day when I will be able to receive the blessings that I learn about so often, such as entering the temple and being sealed for time and all eternity. Such as being a wife and mother, and raising a family in righteousness. That is my number one goal, above all else. And I pray that I will live worthy to receive those things. I love my Savior, I love my Heavenly Father, I love my family, I love all of my friends so dearly. And I hope to continue to show how much I love you, and how much I want to serve my Heavenly Father, no matter where life takes me. :)

Saturday, July 17, 2010

On my way

So I havent posted on this blog since my junior year of highschool..hmmmm. It is very safe to say that it has been quite some time. I have now graduated from highschool, and I am preparing for college. I received a scholarship for vocal performance at Chandler Gilbert Community college, and I am very thrilled that I am going to be involved in so much music this upcoming year.

I have been on quite a journey since my junior year, that much is certain. Times of trial, times of fear, times of aching. But also times of joy, times of laughter, times of gladness, and times of love. Much has happened to me since I have last written. I cannot possibly recall every event that has commenced since then, but I will tell you this..

I have had a change of heart. I am no longer who I used to be. Starting my senior year, I was scared and worried little girl. My best friends were gone for college, and I was left feeling like I could never ever make any other friends who would understand like they did. I was so sure that nothing else in my life felt real any more. I slowly shut down. I brought myself to a place where I was more miserable than I have been in my entire life. The world was dark, the world was dim, and I couldnt find a reason to keep going on. Until one night when I snapped.

That night I dropped heavily to my knees, and began to pray. I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my entire life. I sobbed for hours praying that Heavenly Father would forgive me for being stubborn and hard hearted, and that He would grace my life with joy that I had been missing for so long. After a very long while, my sobs slowly came to a stop. And there was peace. I felt as if someone were in the room with me, and as if there were someone there who was lifting me off of the floor. I know in my heart that my Savior was watching over me that night. That my Elder Brother, Jesus the Christ, knew my pain and my grief. But He was there with me, holding me close and telling me to be scared and lonely no more.

From that moment on there became a change in my life. I began to feel like something amazing was coming around the corner. And I was right. Through my faith, and the goodness of my Heavenly Father, He gave me the confidence and will power to step out and to open my heart to let others in. Needless to say, from that point on, everything worked itself out the way that it was intended. My Heavenly Father has sent me friendships in the past year that I cant even fathom living without now.

The friendships I've received in the past year have taught me even more clearly that charity is the center of all happiness. That it is only through thinking of others, and loving with all your heart, that you can be truly happy. Life is very fragile, so take every opportunity you can to get to know others and find the beauty that they have to offer. And sometimes if you're lucky, you will find a new true friend who you cant believe you lived without your whole life. I know I have experienced it first hand, and I am so grateful for that.

Now here I am, looking towards the future. Here I am, a poor soon to be college student and I dont have much more than a penny to my name! A student with an unknown future. I must say that every day I find myself thinking more about worthwhile things, verses the futile thoughts I had in highschool. I know for a fact that all through highschool that it was all about the hotties. The attractive boys. THe ones who may run 2ft deep on the inside, but are super cute. I find myself falling into a new way of thinking... and I hope it eventually leads me to a new way of life. I find myself thinking about the kind of man I want to marry someday. How much I want him to be a straight arrow in the gospel, and someone who honors their priesthood, and loves their family with all their heart, and never ceases to teach them that they are children of God, and they are so precious in His eyes.

I know that if I hope to marry someone of that calliber, that it is my time to become like them. To be the wonderful things that I want to see in my husband. I will not live in hypocrisy. I want to be the kind of person, that I want to marry someday. These days.. nothing else really matters but rededicating myself to the gospel, service, and striving to love others with all my heart. Everything else feels like its slowly melting away. Although I have many faults..too many to mention, I know that nevertheless I am on my way. That I am now heading towards a future that can be as bright as I make it out to be. As long as I work hard, have faith, and trust in my Heavenly Father's loving care. It is in that loving care that I have trusted in the past year and a half. And it is that loving care which I will continue to trust.For my Savior is the light that shines through, every day of my life. Here are some of the moments which I have seen the goodness of His loving heart.